Easy Peasy

I’d been well and truly bedazzled by Carmen this time. Myself and Cheryl were matching and ready for action. The film was being shot in a night club in the Midlands whilst it was closed in the day. There were people milling around the club. Other actors and actresses that had been cast for other scenes being shot that day, the camera crew, staff from the club trying to do their own daily chores without getting in our way.

I picked up a porn mag laying on the pool table that had been transformed into Carmen’s make up table. It wasn’t a normal top shelf mag. This one had much more copy in it and no picture sets. The name of the magazine was AVN – Adult Video News. It was full of American films and performers but the director of the film I was in today had a small write up about one of his movies in there too. Other than that there was hardly anyone I knew or had heard of before. It was interesting to see how all the American girls looked and posed. The names of the films featured and the covers of the videos.

Two other girls who were equally as stupidly made up had gone in to shoot there lesbian scene before us despite me and Cheryl being the first out of hair and makeup. This was annoying as id been up so early and hadn’t really eaten anything. The fact Cheryl didn’t really talk to me meant I was sitting with nothing to do allowing my nerves to grow stronger and stronger. During this lull in activity Carmen asked Cheryl if she would take a £2000 over night escort booking. A guy had just called in on the phone. Apparently Cheryl escorted for Carmen a lot. The fact the pair of them had just walked in from the bathroom together and literally stood in front of me to have this conversation which was very woodenly acted out gives me reason to believe this was Carmen trying to get my attention and expecting me to have pound signs ker-chinging in my ears and eyes say that I’d do it.

I wasn’t at all interested in being a prostitute. I was an adult performer. I had nothing against girls who did do it but I was taken up with my new friend pornography. I remained silent and then Carmen pranced back over to her makeup nonchalantly asking if I’d ever considered escorting. I told her no but that id bear it in mind. A polite thanks but no thanks.

We were finally ready for our scene. We had to stand on two podiums on the dance floor and dance. Now I suddenly had something else to be petrified about other than this being my first time fucking a guy on film. I hated people watching me dance. It struck the fear of god into me so I blurted out that I can’t dance. The director didn’t care and said just do my best. I looked at Cheryl and she shrugged. As it turns out she was worse than me. The director shouted action and we started jigging about like two Christmas baubles on acid. I immediately felt better knowing Cheryl hated this as much as me. At least I wasn’t up there on my own.

Then Oliver the French performer enters for the scene. He strolls in all chic and French looking. Not particularly young or studdly looking. He reminded me of the French guy in Private Benjamin, the 80S film with Goldie Horn. He was older and more slimy looking than I thought a male porn stud would be. He didn’t smile and looked bored.

We moved on and got on with the action fairly quickly. All of about 30 seconds of girl on girl tit sucking and then Oliver joined in. He moved his head in between Cheryl’s legs and then stood up and yelled cut. I had no idea what was going on but he’d gone off and whispered in the director’s ear who had then whispered in Cheryl’s ear. I was getting abit paranoid in all honesty. Turns out Oliver thought she smelled unwell. Chances of Cheryl actually having BV or Thrush were high. They are in this business. Oliver didn’t want to take any chances and who knows it could have been something more serious so Cheryl’s vagina (and mouth to be on the safe side) was left out of the scene and she became abit of a spare part.

This freaked me for a second as I realised I wouldn’t be able to copy her any more but what actually happened was a god send. As I now had two people jumping all over me all I really could do was lay there and look like I was loving all the action. I couldn’t have moved for want of trying. I had hands and mouths all over me. Easy!

The penetrative sex was fine and I was more concerned with my knees on the rough surface of the podium than how big this guy’s cock was inside me. Cheryl was asked to use an old beer bottle on herself whilst Oliver took me from behind. I watched Cheryl and her bottle which I found quite entertaining in a non sexual way to the point I forgot I was being pounded myself. Well I wasn’t really being pounded, at least not like id learn I could be pounded in later years.

Rose Tinted Glasses

So I’d been for my first sexual health screen that was necessary for me to work within the industry.

The only trouble was that even though all my test results were returned two weeks later as negative the NHS clinic I visited wouldn’t give me the HIV certificate I needed to be able to do unprotected sex scenes.
Initially id been directed to this fancy private clinic in central London for my test but I couldn’t see what they did that any government clinic couldn’t to justify the £150 fee.

I now had no choice but to part with my cash to ensure I got my ticket to work.
I had to go through all the tests again. Not that I minded. They were a little uncomfortable and I’ve never been a fan of needles but I didn’t have the worry of the unknown this time as I already knew my results.

That anxiety would return in three months time when I had to update my certificate and go through the whole process again. Infact it probably took me a whole year of having these tests before the panic and paranoia became completely absent from my mind during these health checkups. Either that or I had effectively managed to train myself not to think about it. You’re so confident your OK but you can’t help thinking if you’re sitting in this clinics waiting room it must be for a good reason and you know exactly what that reason is. You’ve been shagging people without using condoms for the last three months with your fingers so tightly crossed that they have the same level of respect for you that you have for them. They have the same piece of paper saying they’re free from a list of specific diseases as you but accidents can always happen.

I was in my young teens when the AIDS message was being promoted. It had been discovered about 5 years earlier.
I remember watching some US event on MTV that was aimed at young people and using dance music to get the message across. I was only about 12 or 13 but this fatal virus scared the hell out of me despite me naively still thinking this could never happen to me.

I was now, nearly ten years later, in the same group as intravenous drug users and gay men. People who pay for sex or are paid to have sex are in the high risk category. The fact that we get regular HIV and STD tests is just damage limitation and we as a group of people usually chose to turn a blind eye and lock it up safely in the back of our minds. Is it any wonder we become alcoholics and drug users?

Had I really thought about what I was doing or had the insight I now have I probably wouldn’t have ever agreed to have unprotected sex for a living. All the people around me were doing it and explaining that as long as I got these tests done everything would be ok. They were romanticising the whole thing and portraying things through rose tinted glasses. I don’t feel angry at them though. They’ve spent so long numbing themselves to the dangers they were just trying to reinforce this in their own minds by trying to fool me too. If I bought it that would suppress any surfacing worries they had. A bit like how an alcoholic sometimes goes and sits in the park with the winos in a last bid attempt to try and convince himself he doesn’t have a problem. He just likes a drink. The winos are the real alcoholics.

Nasties

For some reason when I agreed to do full on boy/girl films it didn’t enter my mind about the risks involved. I knew they didn’t use condoms in films but I seemed to sub consciously know that things like this were “dealt” with. I guess I just used common sense to realise that they couldn’t just simply expect people to have completely unsafe sex or the whole industry would be shut down for insighting manslaughter or unsafe practices or something like that. Porn isn’t illegal even though it is a grey area within the law. If it really was that unsafe it wouldn’t be allowed to exist.

Well I found out soon enough how the business of porn chose to “deal” with sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases.

I was called by one of the agencies id joined to say id been booked for a shoot in the north. It was a boy/girl shoot. They knew I was new and assumed rightly that I wouldn’t have had a sexual health test or certificate to prove I was clean and free of diseases. The clinic they recommended I go to for these tests, which was used by alot of porn people, was private and cost £150.

I’d been to the GU clinic before when a boyfriend cheated on me and Id decided that I should get checked out. Now that time I didn’t need a certificate but it was an NHS service which meant it was completely free. £150! Where was I going to get that type of money from? I had a credit card but I didn’t really want to start getting into debt trying to be a professional slut.

The agency said if I initially paid for the test the company booking me for the shoot would pay me back. This seemed fair.

However upon calling the private clinic it turned out they couldn’t fit me in at such short notice. Kind of a blessing really as I later found out from a girl I became good friends with that said company only shot solo girl or girl/girl content for their DVDs. The boy/girl was simply the owner booking girls for his own gratification. Said owner’s character was also in questionable disrepute and if the rumours were to be believed he had just been released from prison for making a film with a 14 year old girl. It’s OK, her dad was there too. I grimace at the thought.

I will talk more later about underage girls and paedophiles but don’t fret or get too excited yet as it’s all rather reassuringly decent.

So id missed out on my once in a life time opportunity to shoot with a real nonce. Boo hoo. I decided to get this health test and certificate done anyway as I was assured more offers of boy/girl work would follow shortly and I didn’t want to lose more money by not being prepared or equipt.

I booked into my local GU clinic figuring id go the cheaper option. What could a fancy clinic possibly provide that a government funded one couldn’t, apart from a faster service maybe.

I was right the NHS clinic although very nicely decorated and not at all seedy and ashamed looking took hours to screen me. I waited in the girl’s part of the waiting room. Men and women were screened separately as the tests obviously differ with the differences in anatomy. Like I said earlier I was no stranger to GU clinics and it made me feel better about what I was about to have done seeing a room full of normal looking people waiting with me. The stigma that the clap clinic is full of dirty old men in rain macs and skanky hoes really is not accurate. There were young people and women with young children, couples, people in business suites and even some OAPs. Yes apparently old people have nothing better to do than have sex. Quite how they get STIs I don’t know but good for them. I hope I’m still as horny when I’m wearing incontinence pants and forgetting my own kid’s names.

After what seemed to be an age of waiting I was finally called. By a number mind. Names weren’t used at this clinic to keep confidentiality measures strict.
Waiting to be told you might have a life threatening disease like HIV wasn’t easy. Having said that, bringing the heavy stuff to my attention meant that the simple stuff like Gonorrhea and Chlamydia were easy to deal with.

Lucky?

Im fuckin lucky I only caught gonorrhea 3 times and chlamydia 6 times!

It Costs 20K To Be Me

You know being a porn star isn’t easy.

Yeah its fun having sex all day long – cos that’s exactly what we do! Oh sorry that’s escorts and prostitutes. We spend half the day hanging around on set or at the GU clinic.

I remember when I first started thinking seriously about quitting my normal job to become a full time slut. I did some math and predicted if I could do one gig a week that would give me the same money as my rat race job so the rest of the week was mine. I could study or be a lady of leisure or I could make even more money and do two jobs a week! Considering a shoot could be done and dusted in a matter of hours depending on the required result and how together the people in production were, that meant alot of free time. It also meant that if I worked my normal working week at the rate I was now being paid Id be making a six figure sum a year. Time is a blessing and these days it’s the only thing I ever ever ask for in life but back then I saw the opportunity to make some serious money so I pushed myself hard to get bookings and work. Why sit around learning stuff when I could probably pay someone to do it all for me in years to come. At the time I didn’t have any hobbies or real interests so why not put all my time into this. It’s not like it was physically that hard and it certainly wasn’t tedious. Well not then it wasn’t. Those moments came years down the road.

What to do? Sit around getting fat and watching Trisha on daytime TV or work my butt of and ensure a better future for myself? It was a no brainer. I’ve always been driven and lazy is not a term that anyone would ever use to describe me.
So I started earning all this money and really believed I was on my way to making millions. You’d be surprised how much it costs to be me though.

Trades people need tools and my tools were pretty much what every living breathing girl usually buys par for the course.
Make up, hair, sun beds, gym membership, clothes - yes I need clothes (before I strip them off that is).
Yes I also needed sex toys, stupidly high heels and monthly STD checkups sometimes at £200 a pop.
I also had to pay for marketing myself since I was on my money making mission. Work wasn’t just going to fall in my lap. I’m a creative person so I enjoy the marketing element of my job but it surprises people that models and porn girls do it at all. They obviously think we lay on our backs all day and that work does actually just fall in our laps but the reality is now I have to turn down jobs because they are an interruption to me updating my website or MySpace or online modelling profiles. Promotion probably counts for half of my time and actually making the money for the other half.

It costs me over 20K a year to be me. When I say me, I mean to be able to do my job. It’s kinda cool I get things like make up and shoes tax deductable but being a porn star doesn’t come cheaply so it’s a good job I planned to work hard at this.

Here’s a snippet of what it costs to be me each year. This is not an exhaustible list.
Telephone - £2073.
Clothing - £2933.
Hair- £1200.
Gym membership - £900.
Advertising - £853.

Condomania

The use of condoms in porn is rare.
Porn is a fantasy so why would we need reminding of all those nasty diseases that occur in the real world. That’s why we watch porn after all isn’t it?
I’ve met guys that love watching anal or oral porn as their girlfriends won’t do that with them. Watching condom free porn just helps remove the limits that get put on sex in the real world. Not to mention the fact it is a massive bonus to pornographers who can get away with making dirtier porn which is more saleable in an over saturated market.
You wouldn’t see cream pies (internal ejaculation) or bukkake (being ejaculated on facially in mass volume) if all porn were subject to the use of condoms. In fact it would make a lot of fetishes impossible to sell.
Some of the bigger companies in the US claim to be condom only studios. They have the most successfully marketed girls so they know people will still pay to see these beauties with or without condoms.


I had an email from a new porn girl the other day in which she states she uses condoms unlike 95% of performers and that she is annoyed at the level of producers and male performers that have a problem with that.


It appears that some UK producers deep down know there product is so weak that they irrationally fear the introduction of condoms will cause them commercial suicide. Basically that their poor sales will diminish so much further just for a condom sighting that they will go out of business.


Logic actually says that not using condoms is suicide!


Either that or they have an over inflated view of their work. “You wouldn’t find Chanel using poly viscose to make their latest haut couture darling. So I’m not using condoms in my latest erotic masterpiece”!
And as for the male performers. Well there is so much testosterone driven ego fighting to get out that the threat of having to put a barrier in front of it would probably cause them to self combust. To the guys a condom loses them bravado so they aren’t in a hurry to wrap up.


So the poor girls who are happy to use condoms are backed into a corner. They know that the work goes to the girls who will go bare back and risk themselves.
In that respect the porn business is a very degrading and exploitative one. It’s easy for the players to say “There’s no exploitation here. I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head. I’m not making anyone do what they don’t want to” But think about it. You are! If you put £300 in anyone’s hand they would walk away with a smile on their face.
And in the same breath you want the government and the public to take you seriously. The same government that is spending thousands on campaigning to increase public awareness of STIs. The same public that is just starting to grasp the fact that condoms are a necessity in life now, not an option.


It does ruin the fantasy of porn (which is the whole basis of porn) but should we be romanticising sex in this day and age anyway? We are doing what young children do when they fear a monster. They think if they shut their eyes hard enough it will go away? Well news flash, this one aint going away no matter how long you walk around with your eyes shut. Stop running and start acting.
Porn is just showing its ignorance of a subject it should be and I believe is well educated on.
This will come back and bite us on the butt at some point. Viewers and non viewers alike are wising up to the risks and accepting the changes. They are starting to realise porn is showing them the biggest disrespect by not also accommodating this change. By being neglectful of their consumer’s welfare, by dumbing down the issue that others are fighting so hard to promote.
Do the people behind porn really think that by not promoting safe sex it will increase their sales? One thing’s for sure, it will offend and confuse its customers. One might argue that pornographers believe there consumers to be stupid.


Using condoms will not increase sales of porn but not using them may well start to cost sales. I think its carrot dangling time for porn. Stop hiding behind the false notion that condoms will stop people buying porn. Grow up and smell the coffee. The rest of the world has.