Porn Virgin pt2

Who am I to judge Paul and his motives?

I was angry that Paul went behind my back and allowed me to be responsible for taking his virginity in front of a camera. I felt like I’d just raped someone without knowing id done it. Like a guy that finds out the girl he took home from the club is only 15.
Even though he showed levels of bravery, determination and had a very refreshing lack of bravado about the whole deal, in a business filled with egos this is a rare and valuable quality, I can’t stop being a little bit angry.

I’ve converted the whole episode into a humorous story now. It feels like how I imagined guys brag about sex with their mates down the pub. “Cor yeah I took his virginity alright. I took it on a flippin porn shoot. Who’s the daddy now then?”.
However the thing missing, the thing that made me so angry and still somewhat so today even through the laughter is the absence of any honesty. My right to chose was taken from me and one of the most important terms of working in this business is to be given a choice.

Aside the anger, I was also looking down my nose at Paul with his naivety and lack of experience but I was forgetting something.
I wasn’t a virgin when I did my first porn film but I had never had sex with another girl and id never had toys placed up my rectum before either.
Yes the producer knew this when he booked me for my maiden scene which is probably the only difference between me and Paul but I was very inexperienced when I started out too.

A lot of my firsts were done in porno land.
The first time I got pissed on – I mean properly on my face and in my mouth. Pissing on someone’s ankle does not count.
The first time I did a double penetration – I’m not even sure I remember this monumentus moment. I can only assume it was my first as it’s my earliest memory of such an act.
The first time I had a three-some. The list goes on.
So maybe I’m not so different to Paul. I suppose as an individual I put a higher price on that special moment of actually going all the way for the first time but strangely not on anything else. Most likely my inner child talking from beyond the silicone.

I had my cherry popped on numerous occasions throughout my career and there are still things I’ve never done but anticipate will eventually get an opportunity to try out on camera one day.
Considering my last post (To do or not to do – 18th Feb. 2008) there are plenty of things I would love to try out but wouldn’t have the guts to in my real or private life. The safety of the camera means I can get daring and feel safe about it.

Maybe it’s not just me that feels like this. Maybe real life sex is supposed to be more limited (I hate to use that word) and that’s why porn has always been so attractive to viewers. Maybe there is a real freedom that comes with pornography.

To do or not to do? – That is the question

I’m often asked is there anything I won’t do on film.
I used to reply, like many girls, with the cursory response “nothing illegal”. This basically covers no rape, no shit, no underage sex and no animals.

This is a safe but accurate answer. Chances of you being asked to do anything illegal on camera are slim since these films wouldn’t get past the British Board of Film Classification. This is the authority that makes Hellraiser an 18 and Mary Poppins a U and most of your porn an R18.

Everything else was pretty much ok to me.
I have my personal dislikes too such as anything in public, like flashing. This is actually illegal too but can be gotten around by claiming it was shot in another country or on private land. I’m very concerned about offending innocent bystanders for reasons unknown to me. The fear of being caught certainly does not turn me on. If I know im safely in the middle of nowhere then I’m not so bothered about stripping off and I will happily bath totally nude in a secluded villa.

I also draw the line at corporal punishment. Put simply – spanking. This is common in fetish films. Severity in this genre is deemed unfit for viewing in the UK. I’m told we as a nation have a reputation when it comes to spanking. Apparently despite our censorship of such acts other countries seem to think it’s all we do all day long. Maybe this comes from our old fashioned public schooling image of yester-year.
I’m not sure why I don’t enjoy being spanked when other forms of brutality very much turn me on. I enjoy a good bit of rough in private but whoa betide anyone that pulls any of that American style bitch slapping shit on me whilst on set. Slap I and you will probably receive the same treatment in return but in the sanctuary of my own bedroom I will happily play submissive slut to some ferocious face slapping.

These days though I’ve started to wonder if it’s maybe the acts that are off limits that are the really good stuff. The more you experiment the more you open your mind.
There are certain things I can’t do on camera for fear of being ridiculed and judged by my peers. I am after all a business and I can’t go committing career suicide now can I?
These things remain either inside my head or part of my private life.

However the list of things I wont do in private but will do on camera is far more interesting than simply asking what I won’t do on film.

I’ve mentioned before that I only masturbate for film. It doesn’t do anything for me personally but I do get turned on whilst masturbating on film. I think it’s just the knowing that im having an effect on someone. Someone somewhere is getting turned on by me doing this. The actual act doesn’t interest me.


As much as I enjoy an all female experience, I’m only gay for pay. I’m not saying im not into it when I have my head between some girl’s thighs. I enjoy sex whether it’s with a man or woman but women don’t interest me enough to make me want to make the effort off set.

Pissing is another one. I love getting messy and urinating all over the place like an untrained puppy but in my own life I cant think of anything worse than being asked to pee all over my beloveds face. Why would I want to do that to someone I love. My playmates in porn are no problem. That feels just like two naughty children playing mud pies in the garden.

I don’t swallow cum or take facials either. There is one very good reason for this and that is that my boyfriends spunk is the foulest smelling Ive ever encountered so I make sure it never gets anywhere above my neck. Or if it does this has to be reserved for days when I have a stinking cold only, or in the shower so the vileness can immediately be washed away with one swift rotation of the head.
Trust me, you won’t get very far in porn if you don’t at the least accept a face full of man juice. Getting a face load for the camera is a massive turn on for me. It feels like my reward after a (blow) job well done.

I’m sure there are other things that will come to me in time but its odd the things you will do when someone shoves a camera in front of you and I’m not talking about girls who do anal or other acts only for the money. They don’t enjoy it. They endure it. This isn’t news though, girls do lots of things for money.