My maiden voyage

My first stint in porn was in a lesbian role. We call this a girl/girl scene. It also involved having toys inserted up my back passage.

I clearly remember sitting in the office of the guy filming this episode of an adult satellite TV station series before the shoot with him testing out various sizes of butt plugs on me to decide what I could or could not take. He had a pack of three different sized butt plugs and started with the smallest one since id said I had never had any toys up my bum before. I’d had fingers and even a cock on a few occasions but to be honest the cocks didn’t get very far for very long. It was still too uncomfortable for me to enjoy anal with a large cock or on one occasion, one that was attached to someone to drunk and probably stoned to get hard enough to go up me.
It was a pretty pointless exercise and a classic case of exploiting someone new and eager to please. I don’t recall if we did get as far as the biggest plug, possibly due to the two small brandy miniatures that had been given me to help “loosen me up” for this test but apparently I passed and got the part.

It hadn’t particularly upset me that he was taking advantage of the situation and his authority over me. Life is full of people doing just that, it’s just some of us are blind to it. Sometimes you have to humour the abusers to get what and where you want to in life. I’m not really sure who was abusing who. Had he asked me to do something I had really not wanted to do then I would most certainly have walked away. If I wasn’t going to get something that I felt was of equal importance to me out of it then screw u.

So the next day I turned up to the set and met my co star. A cute young girl from Newcastle who was to become my first helping hand in the porn business. I don’t count the three agents I had applied to and joined. They don’t help models and performers. They do their job.
It was to be my first full on lesbian experience. Until then I had only ever kissed a girl my boyfriend had dared me to kiss one night in a bar. I didn’t know the girl and it was no more than a peck on the lips.

Little did I know that today would possibly mould my submissive side for the future.

It was explained to the northern girl who was 4 years junior to me that she was to take the lead and treat me gently as it was my the first time with a girl, first time I was using toys up my butt and indeed my first proper porn shoot. It was a big day for me. I was nervous but excited. I was glad she was told to be in charge. That way I would just copy whatever she did. I didn’t know how girls liked to be kissed or touched by other girls. Was it the same as being touched by a guy or was I supposed to do something else? I was suddenly back at school second guessing everything I was about to do because I’d never done it before. Not only that, I had to do it as if I was a pro. As if I was the most experienced and sexually confident woman in the world. At least when you’re at school if you get it wrong only you and the other person know and you’re forgiven due to your age and inexperience.

It wasn’t how I imagined it to be on set with a massive crew and loads of equipment. It was very much a one man band set up here. I thought that this probably was a one off and that other shoots would be all glossy with catering and makeup artists. I was soon to learn that I was wrong and 60% of shoots would be like this with the director and producer being the same person. Sound, lighting and camera are also taken care of by him. We shoot on one camera with a built in mic so no sound guy was needed. Lighting was 3 sets of Tungsten portable red heads set up on tripods in the corners of the room. Make up and wardrobe was down to me and catering, if you were lucky enough to be catered was a Texaco garage sandwich and bag of plain crisps (no strong flavours if you’re just about to snog someone else).

The cute jordy girl was late in notorious model/diva fashion. I on the other hand turned up on time which left a good few hours for me to be fondled and groped by the director/producer. I was actually starting to get board and pissed off thinking this girl isn’t going to show up, I’m not going to get paid and I’ve taken a day off work for this crap. The fact she was so late hadn’t helped my nerves either.

She showed up in the end just as I was beginning to think all was lost and I won’t forget her in a hurry either.