A Career Choice or Hobby?

When I first set my mind on taking my clothes off for a) some fun and b) some extra pocket money I didn’t even think about porn. The association between topless modelling and full on porno hadn’t clicked. I don’t think I even realised they made porn in the United Kingdom.
Well let me explain a few basic elements of the porn business.

It’s a very close knit community really. I once tallied up how many producers there were within the UK and including all the semi pro ones (of which there are a lot and the numbers are growing, but I will explain what semi pro means later) there were about 50. Which is surprisingly a lot. But when you understand that about 95% of all UK production studios are mostly one man bands where the producer is the director and sound guy, lighting, script writer (if there is a script) and sometimes the make up artist too which could be worrying you can see that this isn’t such an impressive figure. It’s just simply 50 men and rarely women.
The performers are a similar story. There are probably no more than 50 full time actors and actresses in the business at one time but all the amateur ones could easily take this figure into the thousands.

So I better explain what all this professional and amateur jargon is about. Quite simply like any sports person there are people who do porn full time and this is their main form of income. It’s their full time job and chosen vocation. Not for long mind you as most girls typically disappear after 18 months. Usually when they move on with their lives, get boyfriends and float back to reality. Guys, if they are talented, can stay for decades though.

So an amateur performer is someone who might just do it for fun, as a second income or on a part time basis. Adventurous couples (and singles) tend to be amateurs as they just love sex and don’t mind doing the odd film sometimes even for free as it adds abit of spice to there already entertaining sex life. Believe it or not most pro porn starlets aren’t really that into sex. They might be abit hornier than your average girl but doing it all day everyday takes its toll and it soon becomes just a job and the sex losses its appeal.

You get the pro/am distinction in film and image production as well. The same rules apply. If it’s being made for a profit or for sale then it’s a professional shoot. If someone is just doing it for fun or as a hobby then they are what we call an amateur. These amateurs are stereotypically older guys who purely enjoy taking naughty pictures of sexy young girls. And who can blame them? I always enjoy doing amateur photography shoots. They aren’t always old guys and some have more talent than the pros. The fact you’re not working to make a finished product that HAS to be good enough to make someone a profit or even an income means amateur shoots are far more relaxed and usually quite good fun. Any guy who has the guts to book a girl to strip off and spread em just so he can pursue his unusual hobby is OK in my books. Amateur “ togs” (that’s jargon talk for photographers) are a hole other story though.

Then you get the semi pro guys. Now this semi pro thing is a fairly new development in the business and although the amateur guys don’t get upset – why would they, they are only in it for their own leisure and pleasure, the pro guys get rather irked by these semi pros.
Semi pro status is when you are making porn for an income but it’s not your main job. You might be an accountant but do porn on the side. It’s not your only form of income. And this is really the most sensible approach to take when getting into adult film or photography. Despite the general view of the public that blue movie makers are all filthy rich this is a myth. Most of them are flat broke investing more into what they do than what they actually make.

I always say don’t get into porn to make a million cos you will surely lose a million trying.
Possibly this hatred towards the semi pros is because they have actually had the savvy to see that the business isn’t as lucrative as people initially and misguidedly think. Maybe its jealousy that the pros have taken more risks by putting all their eggs in one large and sexy basket but the semi pros stand to make just as much in the long run. The semis get the best of both worlds while the pros struggle. I can count the rich professional get ups on one hand – actually half a hand because several of them had money to start with.

I want to take the time to explain about other distinctions too. About the gay V. straight business, the fetish V. vanilla or mainstream market and also about dirty and mythical associations the business has such as with child porn and paedophiles.

The Not So Glamourous Side of Porn

Going to the GU clinic (Genito urinary) wasn’t like popping into your GP and emerging 5 mins later with a prescription. Not that I hoped I needed a prescription o this particular visit.


When I was first called I saw the Dr but this was just the beginning of a rather long process of being passed from pillar to post.
This initial one to one was just a consultation of sorts to see why I was there and what they could do for me today thank you.



I didn’t mention what I did for a living as I thought they might send me packing and suggest they had people with real needs to be attending to. I simply said I needed to have a full test for work. I’ve heard storeys of some catering jobs requiring HIV certificates before they will employ you. I’m sure this practice is fictitious but maybe I could use this as my cover. That or that I was emigrating to Russia. Id also read that when applying for a visa to move to Russia you needed a HIV certificate as part of the application process.


Any how they didn’t probe me – no pun intended.


To me getting the piece of paper saying I was HIV negative was the only thing I cared about. That was the killer and that was what I was concerned about. As long as no one had HIV I didn’t mind taking other risks too much. All the other diseases were treatable or at least wouldn’t kill you.
I would later learn about Hepatitis and get my A and B vaccinations.


It sounds crazy now to say I didn’t really care about catching things like Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. Of course I did but I was blinded by other more pressing concerns then like making sure I didn’t get HIV. At the time this attitude probably helped me rationalise things but in hindsight it may be stopped me thinking about the risks I really was taking entering this business. It was unsafe sex after all.


I was asked to sit back out in the waiting room where the nurse would call me and take me to do all my tests.


Another age later I was called again and a young and friendly nurse – not in a classic nurse uniform or any uniform of any kind come to think of it, whisked me off to a cubicle for my swabs and bloods.
She began by taking blood. Just before she was about to stab me up she asked if I knew what she was taking the blood for. I shrugged and guessed HIV as id had a screen before but they were all vaginal swabs. As I didn’t have a HIV test the last time nor did they collect a blood sample, I put two and two together and thought I had four.
She said that no, infact this was for syphilis and that as I hadn’t specifically asked for a HIV test they weren’t doing that. I must have had a look on my face as she asked if I did want one of these to which I said yes please panicking a little that I was wasting my time being here.
She said that was fine but that I would need to see a health advisor for counselling first before they did the test.


This meant me hanging around for even longer after they had poked my private parts with large cotton buds and plastic sticks.
Wasn’t counselling something that you went to over a course of time? I didn’t have 3 months to spend sitting on a couch talking about my childhood before I got this certificate. I had boy/girl shoots to do!


I needn’t have worried. The health advisor just asked me some questions to gage my knowledge of HIV and AIDS and what risks id been exposed to. Had I injected drugs, had I had sex with any gay men or people of African or Caribbean decent? He explained how the test worked and that it would take two weeks to come back to me.


But what about all my sex scenes? I’d have to hope I didn’t get any booked in for the next two weeks until I could come back for my results and certificate.
It was at this point that the health advisor questioned me about the certificate saying that the hospital didn’t give them out unless it was for insurance purposes and that I would need letters from my insurers if that was the case. SHIT!


Well I was here now, id had most of the tests done bar the HIV one and I wanted to know I was free of any nasties so I carried on regardless and tried to think of another blag to get this piece of paper out of them.


I waited some more in the waiting area before being called for my blood sample for the HIV test. Then I was free to go. I had been there for four hours at this point. I was going stir crazy from the boredom of waiting and the massive reality check I was getting about maybe being at deaths door with some hideous sexually transmitted disease or infection. I was quietly scared but knew the chances of me having anything were slim. Id hardly had any sex since my last screen. Still it didn’t stop me being paranoid.

Nasties

For some reason when I agreed to do full on boy/girl films it didn’t enter my mind about the risks involved. I knew they didn’t use condoms in films but I seemed to sub consciously know that things like this were “dealt” with. I guess I just used common sense to realise that they couldn’t just simply expect people to have completely unsafe sex or the whole industry would be shut down for insighting manslaughter or unsafe practices or something like that. Porn isn’t illegal even though it is a grey area within the law. If it really was that unsafe it wouldn’t be allowed to exist.

Well I found out soon enough how the business of porn chose to “deal” with sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases.

I was called by one of the agencies id joined to say id been booked for a shoot in the north. It was a boy/girl shoot. They knew I was new and assumed rightly that I wouldn’t have had a sexual health test or certificate to prove I was clean and free of diseases. The clinic they recommended I go to for these tests, which was used by alot of porn people, was private and cost £150.

I’d been to the GU clinic before when a boyfriend cheated on me and Id decided that I should get checked out. Now that time I didn’t need a certificate but it was an NHS service which meant it was completely free. £150! Where was I going to get that type of money from? I had a credit card but I didn’t really want to start getting into debt trying to be a professional slut.

The agency said if I initially paid for the test the company booking me for the shoot would pay me back. This seemed fair.

However upon calling the private clinic it turned out they couldn’t fit me in at such short notice. Kind of a blessing really as I later found out from a girl I became good friends with that said company only shot solo girl or girl/girl content for their DVDs. The boy/girl was simply the owner booking girls for his own gratification. Said owner’s character was also in questionable disrepute and if the rumours were to be believed he had just been released from prison for making a film with a 14 year old girl. It’s OK, her dad was there too. I grimace at the thought.

I will talk more later about underage girls and paedophiles but don’t fret or get too excited yet as it’s all rather reassuringly decent.

So id missed out on my once in a life time opportunity to shoot with a real nonce. Boo hoo. I decided to get this health test and certificate done anyway as I was assured more offers of boy/girl work would follow shortly and I didn’t want to lose more money by not being prepared or equipt.

I booked into my local GU clinic figuring id go the cheaper option. What could a fancy clinic possibly provide that a government funded one couldn’t, apart from a faster service maybe.

I was right the NHS clinic although very nicely decorated and not at all seedy and ashamed looking took hours to screen me. I waited in the girl’s part of the waiting room. Men and women were screened separately as the tests obviously differ with the differences in anatomy. Like I said earlier I was no stranger to GU clinics and it made me feel better about what I was about to have done seeing a room full of normal looking people waiting with me. The stigma that the clap clinic is full of dirty old men in rain macs and skanky hoes really is not accurate. There were young people and women with young children, couples, people in business suites and even some OAPs. Yes apparently old people have nothing better to do than have sex. Quite how they get STIs I don’t know but good for them. I hope I’m still as horny when I’m wearing incontinence pants and forgetting my own kid’s names.

After what seemed to be an age of waiting I was finally called. By a number mind. Names weren’t used at this clinic to keep confidentiality measures strict.
Waiting to be told you might have a life threatening disease like HIV wasn’t easy. Having said that, bringing the heavy stuff to my attention meant that the simple stuff like Gonorrhea and Chlamydia were easy to deal with.

Arm Candy Syndrome

It’s funny, I think, that more often than not porn is perceived in the public eye as a male dominated business where the girls are objectified and exploited by all these powerful and demanding men.
The reality is that most of these supposedly masochistic men behind porn are nothing more than sad, lonely usually old men that have no confidence with women. They get themselves involved in an industry where pretty girls who (they feel) need rescuing are in abundance, taking advantage of a girl’s supposed vulnerability. After all you don’t need any qualifications to make porn and if you’re not staring in it what else would be your motivation? You might think money but you’d be barking up the wrong tree if you did, but more about that later.
Actually it’s usually the case that the girl wrongly or rightly sees these little arrangements as a shrewd business move thinking that this will give her access to unlimited work opportunities. It’s easy to see why these pairings happen but the women are usually on top in these instances. The girls use the guys and the guys let them in return for them playing the prestigious sugar daddy with a sexy, sexually confident female hanging on their arm and on every word they say.

I call this arm candy syndrome. Right at this particular moment in time I can’t think of one major UK porn producer who isn’t dating a porn starlet.

Strangely these men are very monogamous creatures not playing the field in a typically promiscuous business. But I suppose it’s such a close community that if they did that, they risk losing said arm candy who they genuinely do love dearly but also need as an important status accessory to play in the whose got the biggest balls game.
In some circumstances these porn moguls can be very jealous. Well I suppose I’ve already explained that they are lacking in self confidence so that shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise. They only like there arm candy to do lesbian porn once any sort of relationship is entered into or some prefer to pick the guys she is allowed to work with. Very few arm candy girls continue to maintain the same level of work they previously enjoyed prior to dating a producer.

Porn is all about fantasy which I have said before but the fantasy doesn’t always stop when the cameras do. It’s a bizarre world.