Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Being Recognised

Many people assume porn stars walk around with transvestite style war paint makeup and big hair all the time. If you don’t look like a trashy Essex girl out on the tiles of a Saturday night you can’t possibly be a porn star!

I’ve said before that I fit into the girl next door category very well and I’m glad of this for one thing alone. I don’t get recognised and no one would readily believe I am a porn star without good evidence. I look too normal for that and in fact when on the odd occasion I have told people what I do half of them laugh at and attempt to humour me.

I hate wearing makeup when I’m not working and the only time I even venture near a mirror to fix up is if I’m going out for a fancy night out that requires abit of polishing. If I’m simply going local I don’t worry about my face or looks.

I dress down too. A lot of girls go for the off duty glamour girl look in tight jeans and skimpy cleavage promoting tops finished off with a pair of Ugg boots. I wear my sloppy stuff and Ugg boots too but I really do look like I’ve made no effort when I do it. Those girls still look polished and styled.

This is just me. I don’t attempt to go out in disguise. It seems to work though.

Not that I haven’t been recognised. The most embarrassing time was when I was out for the night with my boyfriend and his family. Luckily they know what I do or it could have been very awkward but I think they were as shocked as me when some guy had his girlfriend take a picture on his camera phone of me and him together. I was more worried about his partner decking me in a jealous rage than what the rellies thought but she was all smiles. Luckily I had dressed up that night! I may not be a glamour puss but I have a vain streak and wouldn’t want a porno fan having his picture taken with me looking like a tramp.

I also got spotted outside the GU clinic once after getting my sexual health test. I strongly suspect this guy had worked out where all the porn stars went for their tests and was loitering with intent. This wasn’t exactly confidential information and abit of Googling would easily give you access to that information. I rushed out the main entrance and ran up the street to grab the tube and dash off for my next job when some guy ran after me and asked for my telephone no. so he could book me. He said he was a fan and wanted to do the amateur thing – fair enough but I’m not giving any stranger on the street my phone no. I told him the name of a website where he could find my model advert and to book me through that. He kept trying to find reason to stand and chat to me but when I told him I was in a rush to get to a shoot he went all drooley at the thought of me getting yet another good stuffing from some well endowed stud and sent me on my way.

The first time someone I actually knew found out what I was doing was when I was rudely awoken from a Sunday morning lie in by an old friend and work colleague from back in my home town and old life. She was a few years younger than me and I always thought of her as quite sweet and innocent. We had drifted apart abit but still kept in touch - just about. You can imagine my surprise then when she comes straight out and says ‘was that you I saw on Television X last night with some other girl?’ For a split second I was concerned about what she thought of me. Not that I cared that she knew or not. I wasn’t trying to hide it or anything but then I was overcome with concern for her. What the hell was she doing watching Television X?

Apparently her man liked to watch it from time to time. I was definitely more shocked about her being exposed to adult material than she was about me staring in it. She thought it was funny and gave me encouragement. I think she thought it was cool that she now personally knew a porn star. Not that I was a star in those days more a mere debutant.

She assured me that she was grown up enough to watch porn and not to worry about her but was abit confused as she had viewed me in a lesbian scene. Did this mean I was a lesbian? It was now my turn to assure her that although id wondered for abit if I maybe was that I actually wasn’t. ‘Oh, that’s ok then’ she said. I think that admittance would have shocked her even more than seeing her old friend and boss taking it up the bum on late night adult satellite television.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

How the other half live

You know it’s kind of weird when you think about it.

It’s deemed cool to be a porn star these days. People wear T shirts saying Porn Star across them. They film themselves having sex and upload it onto YouTube. People who only ever did one dodgy amateur movie years ago call themselves porn stars. Everyone wants to be someone whether it’s a model or musician or sports personality or film star or just an “it” girl. A celebrity of some sort. We all have our own little MySpace pages cos it makes us feel abit famous being where everyone in the world can view us.

I can’t speak for the other industries I mention but I can’t help thinking they are probably as unforgiving as porn too. Its just there jobs aren’t such a head fuck in the first place. It’s simply the baggage that goes with the job that is the down side for them.

Just look at Britney. What the fuck is that all about. She’s an extreme case but I’m sure others just manage to hide it better.
Britney is the reality of how many porn stars will end up though.

Who wants that??? We all think these people we put on pedestals have it all. Money, hot chicks or guys, fame, bling, cars. Then we feel sorry for them when the press hounds them and makes there life a living hell. These supposedly glamorous jobs all have flip sides. It’s all blown out of proportion. Even when we do witness the flip side we still want to be that person. We still think all the money and fame must be worth it.

It’s not. Were just glutton for punishment (the idolized). Were as taken in by it all as you “normal” people are. In fact we believe it even more.
This is why Britney freaked out. I really think most of these people that “normal” people aspire to deal with their fame in damaging ways. Tom cruise has his weird faith. Some people turn to drugs and a party lifestyle. Just look at Whako Jacko.

I was sitting in a bar yesterday and watching the waitress. I aspire to her. She’s so cool. She has a good life probably. Not all the dramas and brain damage that go with these fake and fantasy jobs and personalities. She is truly deserving and worthy.
And all the other people in “normal” life. The postman, the check out girl, the bank clerk. I’d like to be one of them. I really admire the people who do the stuff that counts and makes a difference. It’s the real people who should be celebrated not the celebrities.

Imagine Heat magazine picking flaws in the average girl’s wardrobe of choice or Hello being filled with articles and pictures about how big Dave down the road got married to Sue from the pub.

Like Alice through the looking glass. Life is twisted.