The Lies They Tell Us

The first email from that model site that materialised into a shoot was with a guy called Michael. He said he owned a movie company called Blue something or other. I didn’t pay too much attention but id not heard of them. He said he shot in Spain alot but wanted to do a shoot with me in a hotel at Heathrow airport.

I can hear you laughing already – those of you with an ounce of savvy.

I was eager to please and make a good impression for my début into porn. I wanted to push myself to make sure id made the right decision sacking real life for this amazingly different career. I didn’t want to leave my failure to fate so I gave all my focus and determination to my new job.

Michael met me outside arrivals in his swanky blue convertible Merc. He was dressed like a total tosser in a tight white T, jeans plus bear feet in brown loafers. Eugh! He was good looking but you could see he was the other side of young now and trying desperately to still be that cool 80s yuppie he was 15 years ago.

Anyway we drove to a nearby hotel with him spouting bullshit about him and his so called adult movie business. It would have been believable if a) he hadn’t made it sound so Hollywood and b) he hadn’t just turned up on his lonesome.
Once we got inside the hotel room he said he didn’t need cameras for this but if I was good he’d book me to go to Spain for a week’s shoot. How dumb was I?

I knew something wasn’t right but I also knew nothing about this business so rather than go with my gut I went with the logical reasoning that this must be how things were done in porno.

He fucked me for an hour without even so much as a disposable camera in sight and convinced me to do anal with him after id told him I had never properly done it with a guy before and would really rather save it for the camera. I couldn’t tell at the time but he probably found it hard to stop himself exploding there and then. Isn’t that every guys dream to sodomise a young girl who’s an anal virgin?
He did show some compassion though and suggested we try the anal in the shower so he could lather up my tight virgin ass hole with lots of soap and slip his well endowed cock in a little easier. Being new to all this I also didn’t realise that all that soap would give me Bacterial Vaginosis or Thrush. A few weeks later I sat at the dining room table fully clothed wondering what that fishy smell was. I certainly wasn’t eating fish!

Strangely I managed the anal without too much discomfort and felt a sense of pride that I had managed to do it and please and hopefully impress this guy. My anger about him not being concerned about what I did or didn’t want to do had vanished.

At the end after id showered up and was getting dressed we were chatting and he asked for my HIV certificate to see. I produced this. It was normal to show your producer and co performers this paperwork although it made more sense to do it pre shoot. Sometimes it was a ritual that was done simply to say it had been done. The reason for doing it not important to some people so they just went through the motions even if this meant remembering or being prompted into doing it at the end when it was too late. You might have AIDS by then but this is how things were then.

I expected Michael to produce his certificate too but he didn’t. He said he had one but since I was the young, naive newbie I didn’t press him to physically show me. I didn’t want to ruin all the good work id done. He might decide not to book me for Spain although I knew there was no Spain. This guy was making things up just to shag a porn star. Not that I was a star in those early days. I was a wanna be. Later id become a real porn star myself and Id discover how to make money out of people who want to screw porn stars properly.

I think Michael enjoyed the bull shitting as much as he enjoyed the sex. He wanted to be living the fantasy he was spewing out to me but really he was as much a wanna be as me. The bullshit just helped to get him to the resulting fuck with me but some guys would get as much enjoyment out of this pretending to not even go through with meeting me. They were no shows or time wasters. I quickly learnt to work these time wasters out.