Lucky?

Im fuckin lucky I only caught gonorrhea 3 times and chlamydia 6 times!

It Costs 20K To Be Me

You know being a porn star isn’t easy.

Yeah its fun having sex all day long – cos that’s exactly what we do! Oh sorry that’s escorts and prostitutes. We spend half the day hanging around on set or at the GU clinic.

I remember when I first started thinking seriously about quitting my normal job to become a full time slut. I did some math and predicted if I could do one gig a week that would give me the same money as my rat race job so the rest of the week was mine. I could study or be a lady of leisure or I could make even more money and do two jobs a week! Considering a shoot could be done and dusted in a matter of hours depending on the required result and how together the people in production were, that meant alot of free time. It also meant that if I worked my normal working week at the rate I was now being paid Id be making a six figure sum a year. Time is a blessing and these days it’s the only thing I ever ever ask for in life but back then I saw the opportunity to make some serious money so I pushed myself hard to get bookings and work. Why sit around learning stuff when I could probably pay someone to do it all for me in years to come. At the time I didn’t have any hobbies or real interests so why not put all my time into this. It’s not like it was physically that hard and it certainly wasn’t tedious. Well not then it wasn’t. Those moments came years down the road.

What to do? Sit around getting fat and watching Trisha on daytime TV or work my butt of and ensure a better future for myself? It was a no brainer. I’ve always been driven and lazy is not a term that anyone would ever use to describe me.
So I started earning all this money and really believed I was on my way to making millions. You’d be surprised how much it costs to be me though.

Trades people need tools and my tools were pretty much what every living breathing girl usually buys par for the course.
Make up, hair, sun beds, gym membership, clothes - yes I need clothes (before I strip them off that is).
Yes I also needed sex toys, stupidly high heels and monthly STD checkups sometimes at £200 a pop.
I also had to pay for marketing myself since I was on my money making mission. Work wasn’t just going to fall in my lap. I’m a creative person so I enjoy the marketing element of my job but it surprises people that models and porn girls do it at all. They obviously think we lay on our backs all day and that work does actually just fall in our laps but the reality is now I have to turn down jobs because they are an interruption to me updating my website or MySpace or online modelling profiles. Promotion probably counts for half of my time and actually making the money for the other half.

It costs me over 20K a year to be me. When I say me, I mean to be able to do my job. It’s kinda cool I get things like make up and shoes tax deductable but being a porn star doesn’t come cheaply so it’s a good job I planned to work hard at this.

Here’s a snippet of what it costs to be me each year. This is not an exhaustible list.
Telephone - £2073.
Clothing - £2933.
Hair- £1200.
Gym membership - £900.
Advertising - £853.

Frosty Reception

Jody was there but either the situation we were now in meant she became a different person or she’d decided I was big enough to look after myself now. Her hands were washed of me and my neediness.
Upon arriving at the large house in Holland I firstly found myself filing in a load of paperwork in a chicly styled large white office. This was the brain of the site and its operations. They needed to create a page for me to profile myself on and attract customers. I was told that guys could spend money on presents for me that they could buy through the site. Bottles of perfume, cuddly teddy bears that sort of thing. This was a treat for me and earnt the company extra dollars. Therefore they made sure that every girl entering the house had a birthday whilst she stayed ensuring the perfect reason to buy her gifts. This fake birthday was put up on my profile with my likes and dislikes, measurements and sexual preferences.

I was then taken with my bags to my bedroom. It turned out the top floor of the three story house was for the British girls and the second floor was for the Czech girls. Amazingly no Dutch girls ever stayed there. I suppose they made better money in the red light district of town. There were two bedrooms on our floor. A third was being re decorated. So a couple living in the house took the smaller double room and I bedded in a large room with 3 double beds and four other girls including the one who had arrived with me and Jody.

I didn’t mind sharing. I was actually looking forward to it. I thought it would be abit like having a girly sleepover or maybe like getting to experience boarding school dorms for a couple of weeks and then going back to the luxury of my single bed room back in south London.
I didn’t realise the girls all worked shifts and would be in and out the room all the time I was trying to sleep. Plus the Czech girls worked the day shifts and the UK girls worked the nights so they could entertain the yanks where the time difference came in to play. It was also pointless asking the Czech girls to do nights as they couldn’t understand any English so the horny American guys wouldn’t have been able to communicate with them. So I was thrown into a pattern of 8 hr night shifts and then trying to sleep in a room of five girls all getting up to start their shifts and turning hair dryers on and of f whilst I was trying to sleep. As you can imagine I didn’t sleep much and I became rather emotional. I’ve never been a night person and my few months of working until 2am at a bar once was bad enough.

The first thing I did when I arrived in my new room was ask one of the other girls where Jody was. “In town” she said. We were free to wonder off in our spare time and Jody had taken the ferry across the river into central Amsterdam. I couldn’t wait for her to get back. When she did however I became paranoid that she was avoiding me. Why wasn’t the first thing she wanted to do was to come and find me? I had to remember this was a big house and had about 30 people wondering around it at any one time. When I eventually found her she was hanging out with one of the other Brit girls and they both seemed very pally. They were nearer each other’s ages and turned out they did the same levels of work ie; they were only part timers and didn’t do or didn’t want to do boy girl work.

Jody seemed abit frosty with me and far more interested in this other girl.
I can’t pretend I wasn’t gutted and deflated but I decided to try and make friends with this other girl too.
I’d been asked to spend some time that day watching how the other girls did there shows since id never done anything like this before.
I intended to buddy up with Jody but Jody suggested I watch Georgia and then we could all sit and smoke weed and have a girly giggle whilst Georgia did her shift. That sounded ok except I didn’t smoke but I’d rather of had some time alone with Jody. Still this was better than nothing. Believe it or not, being in Amsterdam, we were banned from using drugs and drinking alcohol in the house apart from party night which happened every Friday night and we were allowed – no change that - we were plied with alcohol in the hope we’d get into a big lesbian orgy.

Jody being a big weed smoker loved the fact she was in Amsterdam and was always being found out for having a sneaky splif. That wasn’t going to stop her. She worked hard and knew they wouldn’t throw her out.

Jody had to go and get ready for her shift so she suggested we both go to the bathroom and get ready. I could then sit with her when she started her shift and be ready to start mine an hour later.

Web Cam - A New Generation Of Peep Show?

I remember going to watch a peep show in Soho about 10 years ago with my then boyfriend. I wasn’t interested in watching girls strip off and writhe around the place so I did it for the sake of doing something naughty instead. I was quite shy and nervous then but did it to prove I wasn’t a prude to my man.

Now as a regular web cam performer myself, it’s strange to think back to that time. I was embarrassed to watch the woman live in front of me. I kept looking away or anywhere but at her. I’d never seen a real life woman who wasn’t my mother get naked in front of me before. Id watched dodgy German 70s porn but that wasn’t the same. That wasn’t live or so...close up.

The little viewer wasn’t open for long anyway. 30 seconds tops. I don’t specifically remember what she did but it can’t have been much in 30 seconds.
I often complain when someone books me for just 5 minutes on a web cam. How can I do anything in just 5 minutes? Seriously you think it’s long enough to have a quick wank but it’s only just long enough to take your clothes of if you’re wearing something elaborate.

That girl in the peep show must have been laughing. 30 seconds! That’s about long enough for me to bend over and shake my ass at you.

I often walk past where that peep show was. I don’t know if it’s still going. I don’t know if peep shows even exists any more.

I always thought of web cam as a modern development but I guess it’s derived from an age old tradition. The good old peep show.
So in effect I’m that peep show girl ten years later. I wonder if people watch me and get all embarrassed like I did?
I wonder if she sat there and though “tight gits. Put some more money in and let me at least get my kit off”?